By Shannon Bussnick, LSW

Approaching a conversation with someone who is grappling with mental health issues can feel daunting. Some may even cringe at the idea, but that’s another post for another time.

The challenge thickens when someone close to you seeks advice or a fresh perspective about something so personal, so raw.

Fear of uttering something ignorant, judgmental, or inappropriate quickly creeps in and we start to stumble around awkwardly. (And if there wasn’t an elephant in the room before, well, we’ve brought one right along with us!)

And because of this pressure to articulate the “right thing” we can be easily led into error, despite our earnest attempts to be supportive. Sometimes, we end up choosing words or expressions that we later regret, leaving us dwelling on them for hours after the fact.

A small tip I’ve learned along the way:

Incessantly texting memes with positive affirmations might not be the ideal way to support a friend, family member, or loved one experiencing mental health challenges. I know it’s tempting to just hit send but think it out first — is it the time or place to use social media to convey your love and support, or is there a better, more personal approach you can use to check in?

But you’re not alone in this.

Even as someone with personal and professional mental health experience, I’ve been there more times than I can count! Probably too many times… but we practice self-love here, k? We are human; missteps are part of the journey. The goal is to be better, not to be perfect.

Today, we aim to alleviate the pressure of crafting the perfect uplifting speech or feeling the need to don the mental health professional hat whenever the opportunity arises.

Because, in reality, our loved ones require not a curated motivational discourse, but love, understanding, and companionship in their most vulnerable moments. A little froyo never hurts either.

Diminishing the Mental Health Stigma

While discussing mental health may still be taboo for many, experiencing mental health symptoms or receiving a professional diagnosis is more prevalent than most realize.

As per the National Alliance on Mental Illness, in 2019, 20.6% of U.S. adults encountered mental illness, translating to 1 in 5 adults, while 5.2% experienced serious mental illness, signifying 1 in 20 adults.

Without question, the mental health field has made incredible advancements in spreading awareness and educating society about mental health, but some ignorance remains. Consequently, this contributes significantly to the fear of saying the “wrong thing” and tiptoeing around even the most general wellness discussions.

As we progressively dismantle the stigma surrounding mental health conditions and foster a comfortable atmosphere for these discussions, we move a step closer to supporting our loved ones on their wellness journey. And of course, our own, too.

Communicating with Individuals Facing Mental Health Challenges

Here are a handful of useful tips for having discussions about mental health:

Practice Active Listening
Conveying that “I’m here for you” and “You can talk to me whenever you’d like” can be comforting. It’s vital for your loved one to feel heard, validated, and respected when sharing thoughts and experiences. Sometimes, the best response may be silence; active listening combined with a safe and warm environment can often speak louder than words.

Demonstrate Love and Compassion
Unconditional love and support are invaluable for someone facing mental health challenges. Assuring someone of their strength and expressing gratitude for their trust in sharing their feelings with you can be incredibly supportive.

Offer Assistance
Simple gestures like, “How can I help?” or proposing to tackle tasks together can be significantly helpful. Engaging in mundane activities, like grocery shopping or walking the dog, can offer solace.

Change the Environment
According to Rogers Behavioral Health, changing one’s environment can positively impact mental health. Suggesting a walk, cooking a meal together, or relocating to a quieter place for a chat can introduce a fresh perspective and reduce anxiety levels.

Avoiding Detrimental Remarks

When talking with someone about their mental health, maintaining a present and empathetic demeanor is crucial.

Avoid comparisons or using language that invalidates their experience. Try to share advice or personal stories only when asked, aiming to empower your loved one rather than inducing feelings of shame or discomfort. In our attempt to align with our loved ones’ experience by sharing our own, we could cause unwarranted distraction or comparison to surface, ultimately devaluing the interaction.

Remember: If you don’t have the headspace available to be fully present in the conversation, let your loved one know; try to give an idea of when you anticipate having a clearer head or an extra few minutes to chat.

In this situation, it’s best to try and gauge if your loved one needs emergent assistance or should talk to another trusted person rather than waiting for your availability. It never hurts to ask this important question, either.

Most importantly, if you believe your loved one to be a danger to themselves or others, always notify emergency services right away.

For Those Sharing Their Mental Health Journey

Should you feel judged or misunderstood, remember that you hold the reins to the conversation.

There is a vast array of professional mental health services available when and if you decide to seek further assistance. Opening up to a trusted individual is usually a promising step towards healing—however that looks for you.

And if you’re supporting someone on their mental health journey, know that offering your love, kindness, and support is truly the most valuable.

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References
•NAMI. (2021). Mental Health By the Numbers. NAMI.
•Rogers Behavioral Health. (2019, November 14). What to say and what not to say to someone with a mental health condition. Rogers Behavioral Health.

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