By Shannon Bussnick, LSW

Motherhood: It’s not for the faint of heart.

Juggling a squirming toddler, a squeaky grocery cart, and a mental checklist that never seems to end is an image we know far too well—all while trying to dodge the judgmental looks as your pride-and-joy takes the stage for yet another cereal aisle meltdown.

Sometimes all we can do is breathe, reiterate ‘gentle parenting,’ or another child-centered trauma-repellant, and try not to disassociate in the process.

Yes, the journey of motherhood is often punctuated by the high decibels of tantrums and the stealthy evasion of veggies, but let’s chat about the other side of parenting. (The side that’s not about counting sheep at 2 a.m. or negotiating with a three-year-old over one more bite of broccoli!)

The Silent Balancing Act

As mothers, we’re CEOs of the home front, managing emotions, schedules, and the ever-elusive “me time,” which is why the loaded question, “Why do mothers lose their identity?” can come across as a bit harsh and thoughtless, but at the same time, is entirely relatable.

It’s a silent balancing act, one where we teeter between nurturing our children and nurturing ourselves.

Sure, we fret over whether they’ve immersed themselves in enough free play and had enough calcium by the day’s end, but what about our well-being? What about our calcium? And don’t worry, I’m only half serious.

But it’s easy to get lost in the nutritional labels for our children and forget to read the signs of our own needs. Sometimes, I even neglect the importance of both. It happens. There are good days, and then days we hunker down and survive. Oftentimes, it’s some 60/40, 70/30 combo of the two. You can’t have it all right?

Values: The Compass in the Chaos

In the thick of mothering, staying grounded in our values isn’t just nice, but I’ve started to think it’s necessary.

When we align our parenting with what truly matters to us, those grocery store scream fests become a little less unnerving, and the sight of tiny hands cradling fresh produce becomes a lot more meaningful.

Our values are the compass that guides us back to calm waters, reminding us that the foundation we’re building for our kids is much sturdier than a skipped nap or a refused carrot stick—even if we don’t see it at the moment.

Merging Motherhood with Self-Care

As a stay-at-home-mama, I’ve only recently started to explore the not-so-secret formula for staying grounded: merging motherhood with my own, individual values. And not what I want my values to be, but what they are in this present moment.

I say that because as our mindset evolves and core values strengthen, you’ll find that your children will begin to mirror and explore a growth mindset of their own. When a child sees a parental figure care for themselves and for others, a child sees possibility, beauty, and compassion. They see that they can make a difference.

Now, I’ve found a balance of challenging myself to be a better human while also practicing humility and self-love; receiving myself as I am but empowering myself to be stronger, wiser, and kinder.

Merging motherhood with our values is about infusing bits of ourselves into the daily grind. Sounds simple, yes, but we must be intentional about it.

Whether it’s a morning run that doubles as a science lesson on the birds and the bees (literally) or a dance party with your party of three while sorting laundry, these moments remind us that we’re more than ‘just moms,’ but individuals with passions, hobbies, and needs.

Sure, Moms would be enough, but we have layers, and ever-changing journeys ahead of us.

Things won’t always go as planned, we may stumble or float through certain seasons of life, but being intentional in meeting our own needs, along with our children’s, can make those hard, 60/40 days a bit more manageable. And a bit more fun, too.

The Art of Letting Go

And as we navigate this journey, let’s master the art of letting go.

Not every day will feature a perfectly balanced diet or a conflict-free bedtime. But hey, if we can laugh at the occasional absurdity of searching for that missing sock while our toddler insists on wearing a swimsuit in December, I think we’re on the right track.

Embracing the Perfectly Imperfect

So, to all the mothers out there feeling overwhelmed: remember to take a breath and let those seemingly impossible moments go.

Your child won’t remember the day’s chaos, but they’ll remember the love you’ve shown, the comfort you’ve provided, and the values you’ve instilled.

And on those days when life resembles a circus (and let’s face it, it often does), remember that in the grand spectacle of motherhood, you’re not merely leaping through hoops just to do it again tomorrow (even if some days feel that way). You, mama, are the ringmaster, expertly orchestrating this wonderful, wild show.

This standing ovation goes to you.