By Shannon Bussnick, LSW
Welcome to the exhilarating, sleep-deprived, yet profoundly rewarding journey of parenting twins! All the awws (and eeks) can be found here! It’s a ride filled with double the love, double the mess, and certainly double the fun! (If you can power through the phases we won’t speak about, that is! And you can.)
Here, on Vienna Lane, we share our twins + threenager survival guide, sprinkled with an honest attempt at humor, to navigate the beautiful chaos that comes with twin toddlers and possibly their sibling sidekicks. Indeed, it’s twice the responsibility, often feeling like we’re in charge of a tiny troop. So, if you ever find yourself feeling like a drill sergeant on duty, rest assured, you’re not the only one, mama.
- The Great Gear Hunt
First things first, you’ll need to become a master in the art of baby gear espionage. I did not realize we’d need to restock almost ALL of our firstborn inventory, but oh yes, we did. Finding strollers that fit through doorways while carrying two (or more) is like finding a unicorn. We literally used an attached seat for our two-year-old daughter that clipped onto our double stroller before transitioning the twins out of their infant car seats. Ridiculous looking, yes, but unless you can fork over $600 plus for a three to four seater, and before wonder wagons are developmentally appropriate, options are slim out there!
Tip: Look for “twin-friendly” labels and pray they also mean “sanity-saving.” Remember—marketplace and second-hand items are your friend.
- Formula Financing 101
Prepare your wallets and your willpower; feeding twins is akin to feeding a small army. Whether it’s formula or baby food, your grocery bill might just start looking like another car payment. If you can milk it, no pun, breastfeeding is your golden ticket here—though milk storage may become an issue if you have an oversupply! More power to you, though.
Note that feeling discouraged if unable to nurse is all too common for mamas, so let’s lift these expectations off ourselves. Feeding your child is the most important thing. Always. No matter what the lactation consultant tells you an hour after you birthed two humans. And I know, it’s part of their job and the pressure of discharge planning in a hospital setting. Still, it can be hardcore.
Do what feels right for you, your babies, and your body.
Pro tip: Start a baby food co-op with other twin parents if possible. Don’t hold back on saving up those coupons that pileup in your mailbox, either. Hey, even ask a friend for their unused ones, which I did more than once. Mamas get it and are eager to help where they can. Return the favor when the time comes—you’ll know when you can.
- Assorted Personalities
Imagine hosting a party where the guests have wildly different preferences. That’s sort of life now. One twin may love sleep, while the other considers nighttime an all-night rave. Flexibility and a good sense of humor are key. Just remember that it’s a learning curve and it’ll rarely ever be seamless—that’s ok!
If I could give one tip: What worked for my family was synchronizing their schedules as much as we could—highly recommend it if you can. This may involve gently waking one to match the other’s wake-up call, but this small step can lead to precious moments of tranquility during the wee hours. Trust in the process, as aligning their rhythms not only brings a sense of manageability but also opens up pockets of rest for you during those all-important quiet times.
- A Labyrinth of Logistics
Transporting twins is like planning an undercover operation. Seriously. You don’t realize the complexity of twin+ logistics until your knee-deep in ice cream, dirt, or wood chips, trying to wrangle two (or more) minions running in opposite directions. Going to events or just a simple park visit requires strategic planning. Always have a backup plan, and maybe a backup for the backup.
And, ok, so the stares will be frequent… but a smile and wave can take a load of the pressure off and remind others that you’re doing your absolute best—no matter the unsolicited opinions and advice coming your way.
- A Variation a “Bittersweet Symphony”
Try to roll with the relay of cries, blowouts, and spit-up sessions. Why sugarcoat it, right? There will be many days when you’ll have to tackle one mess at a time, PRAYING no one double-dips. Yes, it’s messy, but one load of free and clear laundry at a time, okay?
Also, don’t be afraid to run your favorite tracks all.day.long; it’ll break up the monotony and give you some pep in that postpartum step—second-best to that daunting sour and sweet stroll outdoors. (An unpopular opinion but you know if you know.)
- Extra Entertainment
Keeping twins entertained while attending to another child’s needs is -trying- to say the least. Aim to develop a toolkit of quick, engaging activities that can be set up in in a moments notice. Your living room might resemble a padded “playground,” but hey, whatever works! It’s about survival in those early days (and months). Ok… maybe years if you’re like me.
- The Freezer is Your Friend
Unless you have the culinary speed of a professional chef, meal planning will become your new hobby. Stock your freezer like it’s an apocalypse shelter. It’s all about survival, and sometimes, survival tastes like pizza at 3 AM. Eh, who are we kidding…it’s always a good time for pizza.
- Tag-Teaming for Sanity
Sleep is not just a concept; it’s a precious commodity. Take shifts with your partner to ensure each of you gets some semblance of rest. Remember, a well-rested parent is a happy parent, and happy parents make better decisions—like not mistaking diaper cream for toothpaste. Or more realistically?, forgetting to update your subscribe & save for diapers and wipes. Oops.
- Wellness Wisdom
Staying on top of wellness visits is crucial, but it can feel like herding cats. Have you ever tried to herd a cat, though?
Keep a detailed calendar, and don’t hesitate to voice any concerns to your pediatrician. Managing two growing bodies is no small feat, and it’s okay to ask for help—and to refer to your notes for a refresher. Notes, notes, and more notes.
- Caffeine: The Elixir of Life
Coffee isn’t just a beverage; it’s survival. Embrace the magic of caffeine, but remember, moderation is key. Especially if you’re nursing. Too much, and you might find yourself rearranging the garage at 2 AM, struggling with your milk supply, or comforting very agitated little ones. Always talk to your doctor about the potential risks of certain supplements and substances postpartum and while nursing. Double the duty, yes, but unfortunately so, this mentality doesn’t apply to our caffeine habit.
- Cherish the Chaos
In the whirlwind of twin parenting, it’s easy to wish away the tough moments. But remember, this time is fleeting. Two years later, I’m finally seeing that. Amidst the tears and laughter, take a moment to breathe and savor the incredible journey you’re on. These moments, as exhausting as they are, are utterly remarkable.
Parenting twins is a unique adventure that tests your limits and expands your heart in ways you never imagined. It’s a blend of endless challenges and immeasurable joys. So, here’s to you, mama of multiples (weird, right?) as you navigate this extraordinary journey. May your coffee be strong, your patience stronger, and your twins’ bond the strongest of all. After all, what’s sweeter than snuggling two?
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