By Shannon Bussnick, LSW
I can’t be the only one who has repeated a toxic, self-sabotaging cycle throughout my life. Whether it’s seeking out artificial mood enhancement, making impulsive purchases, or engaging in careless decision-making, I’ve often found myself saying, “This is the last time” far more times than I’d like to admit. So, what brings us to this point, and why is it so hard to break the cycle? That’s what we’re here to discuss.
Why Do We Keep Choosing What Hurts?
Let’s ask ourselves:
• Why do we speed even though we dread the thought of a ticket we can’t afford, or worse, losing our license?
• Why do we cry and feel defeated when we fall into the arms of someone emotionally unavailable, despite knowing where the road will lead?
• Maybe even worse, why do we dive into a sea of gummy candies that taste vaguely of hairspray, fully aware they aren’t satisfying but somehow convinced to finish the bag? Okay… that one might just be me, but you get it.
These aren’t random quirks; they’re patterns and habits we fall back into, fully aware they bring us no joy. So why are we drawn to things that we know won’t fulfill us and often cause more harm than good? Is it just about the thrill, the hint of risk, the dopamine surge that comes from defying our better judgment? Or does it go deeper, into the very architecture of our minds? Could our brain actually be betraying us?
The Brain’s Wiring for Reinforcement: Designed to Help, Not Harm
Our brains are wired for reinforcement—a system built to reward us for actions that theoretically benefit our survival. This reward pathway evolved to help early humans find food, stay warm, and seek shelter. When our ancestors successfully hunted, gathered, or made safe decisions, their brains would release a surge of feel-good chemicals, marking the behavior as beneficial and worthy of repetition.
“The mesolimbic dopamine system, composed of the VTA (ventral tegmental area) and NAc (nucleus accumbens), is a key detector of a rewarding stimulus… Activation of the pathway tells the individual to repeat what it just did to get that reward. It also tells the memory centers in the brain to pay particular attention to all features of that rewarding experience, so it can be repeated in the future.” (Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, 2018)
In today’s world, the triggers for survival have changed significantly. We no longer hunt for food or fire; instead, we encounter complex challenges, emotional ups and downs, and a multitude of choices that may not directly impact our biological survival. However, our brain’s reward system remains unchanged, still releasing dopamine to promote behaviors—whether helpful or harmful—that provide a momentary sense of satisfaction.
When it comes to harmful habits or addictions, it’s the same circuitry at work. That rush we feel when we speed, gamble, or indulge in any risky behavior? That’s the brain delivering a reward and then reinforcing the behavior. Even though these behaviors are often detrimental, they trick the brain into thinking it’s fulfilling some essential need, engraving it in our memory for easy access next time.
How Our Brain Decides What Feels Good—The Role of Unique DNA and Personal Experience
The brain’s reward system isn’t a one-size-fits-all mechanism; what feels good or meaningful to us is shaped by a unique mix of genetic factors and personal experiences.
At the core, our DNA provides a blueprint that influences everything from neurotransmitter levels (like dopamine and serotonin) to how intensely we experience pleasure and react to risk. This genetic makeup partly determines our baseline for feeling “rewarded,” as well as what types of triggers are likely to make us feel fulfilled.
Let’s examine the various factors that influence reward retrieval:
1. Genetic Blueprint: Our DNA sets the stage by influencing our brain’s chemistry and structure. Certain genetic variations can make some people more prone to seek high-stimulation activities, while others might lean toward more subdued rewards. For instance, variations in dopamine receptor genes like DRD4 have been associated with novelty-seeking behavior. People with such genetic predispositions may be drawn to intense or novel experiences as a way to stimulate their reward system.
2. Neural Pathways and Personalization Through Experience: While DNA shapes the structure, experiences personalize it. Each rewarding or pleasurable experience strengthens neural pathways that signal what the brain should seek again. Over time, our brains solidify these preferences based on what we’ve found enjoyable or comforting in the past. This could explain why one person finds joy in activities others find dull—each of us has a unique blend of memories and associations that tell our brain, “This is rewarding.”
3. Epigenetics and Environmental Influence: Our environment, especially early in life, also influences these reward pathways. Epigenetics—the way environmental factors can activate or suppress certain genes—refines our preferences. For example, someone who grew up receiving validation from academic success may be more likely to seek similar rewards later in life, reinforcing that pathway as part of their unique reward system.
The combination of DNA, personal experiences, and environmental factors crafts a personalized reward profile. This is why two people might respond entirely differently to the same situation; one may find satisfaction in calmness, and another may crave excitement and risk. Our brain’s wiring isn’t random; it’s a complex, tailored map of each person’s lived experiences, unique biology, and learned patterns.
The Reinforcement Trap: When Good Intentions Backfire
This is where self-sabotage takes center stage. Our brain’s reward system doesn’t always discern long-term impacts from short-term pleasure. It focuses on immediate rewards, which is why we keep doing things that ultimately don’t serve us.
At the neurological level, self-sabotaging habits follow a loop that looks something like this:
cue → craving → response → reward.
Imagine craving the attention of an emotionally unavailable person. Sure, you know “better,” yet a single interaction triggers a dopamine rush. The brain interprets this rush as a reward, reinforcing the behavior even if it makes you unhappy in the end. It’s a classic misfire of the reinforcement system—a survival mechanism gone rogue, even at our expense.
The Thrill Factor: Are We Addicted to Excitement?
So, is it just the thrill we’re after? The risk, the unknown outcome, the excitement of bending the rules? Neurotransmitters like dopamine play a significant role in addiction and self-destructive habits. Engaging in high-risk activities can lead to increased dopamine release, which enhances feelings of pleasure and reward. This dopamine surge can make risky behavior feel rewarding in itself.
Think about it: risking a speeding ticket isn’t rational, but the thrill of pushing limits taps into a primal drive. When we take a chance, even a reckless one, the brain remembers the excitement, and the next time we’re behind the wheel, it craves that rush again. This cycle makes risky behavior difficult to break.
Philosophical Perspectives: The Brain’s “Betrayal” or Just Misguided Loyalty?
Philosophers and neuroscientists have often explored the idea that addiction and self-sabotage may represent a sort of “loyalty” to past patterns.
Aristotle spoke about the “irrational parts” of the soul that craved sensory pleasure despite knowing better. This concept aligns with today’s understanding of brain pathways that can reinforce unhealthy habits. In a sense, our brain isn’t betraying us—it’s following its prime directive: repeat what felt good last time.
But unlike our ancestors, we’re not always working with straightforward survival cues. Our rewards are complex, sometimes rooted in abstract desires like validation or the avoidance of pain. We seek patterns, even harmful ones, to fill emotional gaps, which makes change hard. Very hard.
Addiction as a Learned Behavior: The Brain’s Best-Laid Plans Gone Wrong
When we talk about addiction, we often view it as a flaw in character. But addiction is really the result of the brain learning behaviors that once served a purpose, only now in a distorted way. Addiction arises when the brain starts relying on certain behaviors or substances as a primary source of reward, reinforcing a need for that “fix,” whether it’s healthy or not.
Some scientists view addiction as a form of misapplied survival instinct—an attempt to protect ourselves from pain, boredom, or insecurity. In this light, addiction is the brain trying to soothe us, to give us something reliable when other rewards feel scarce. The intention is survival, but the effect is a continuous cycle of wanting more, like chasing that first high.
Breaking Free: Rediscovering Our Primal Instincts to Rewire the Brain
Understanding why we keep doing things we hate requires empathy for our biology and acknowledgment of our power to reshape it.
If our reward systems have been distorted by harmful behaviors and substances, could the way back to our true selves involve realigning with our primal instincts and skills?
Might engaging in more outdoor activities, physical labor, and mind-body exercises help restore balance to our reward systems?
It’s important to recognize how we can implement these instincts in beneficial ways rather than harmful ones.
Aligning with Our Primal Instincts
Our ancestors relied on physical activity, connection with nature, and community cooperation for survival. These activities naturally stimulated the brain’s reward pathways in healthy ways:
• Engaging in Physical Exercise: Releases endorphins and dopamine, enhancing mood and providing a natural sense of reward.
• Spending Time Outdoors: Has been shown to reduce stress and improve mental well-being.
• Mind-Body Practices: Yoga and meditation increase mindfulness and self-awareness, helping us recognize and interrupt harmful patterns.
• Community Engagement: Being part of a group with shared goals strengthens our connection to ourselves and others. We shift our focus toward contributing to something greater, creating a legacy that extends beyond our individual selves. In this space, we find inspiration, experience gratitude, and maintain our dignity.
By reconnecting with these primal activities, we may help our brains rewire their reward systems toward natural, healthy stimuli rather than artificial or harmful ones. This realignment could potentially reduce the reliance on maladaptive behaviors that lead to self-sabotage and addiction.
Evidence from Addiction Recovery
Studies in addiction recovery support this approach. For instance, exercise has been found to be an effective complementary treatment for substance use disorders. Regular physical activity can reduce cravings and improve mental health, making it a valuable tool in preventing relapse.
Mindfulness-based interventions have also shown promise in treating addiction by enhancing self-regulation and reducing automatic responses to triggers.
Furthermore, engaging in activities that promote a sense of purpose and connection to the world can fulfill psychological needs that might otherwise drive addictive behaviors. By satisfying these needs through healthy means, we reduce the brain’s perceived need to seek out harmful rewards.
Could This Reduce Relapse Rates?
While addiction is a complex condition with no one-size-fits-all solution, incorporating primal, naturally rewarding activities into recovery programs has shown encouraging results.
Research indicates that individuals who engage in regular physical activity and mindfulness practices may have lower relapse rates compared to those who rely solely on conventional treatments.
For example, studies have shown that mindfulness meditation can reduce relapse rates among individuals recovering from substance use disorders. Exercise interventions have also been associated with improved abstinence outcomes and enhanced mood regulation.
Integrating Nature and Modern Therapy
It’s not about rejecting modern treatments but enhancing them by integrating practices that align with our innate tendencies. Combining traditional therapies with activities that stimulate our natural reward systems could provide a more holistic approach to rewiring the brain. This might involve outdoor group therapy sessions, incorporating physical activity into daily routines, or practicing mindfulness and meditation alongside counseling.
Finding Balance in a Modern World
In a society filled with manufactured stimuli competing for our attention, intentionally returning to activities that engage our primal instincts can help ground us. This helps create a balance between the demands and anticipation of modern life and the needs of our ancient brain structures. By doing so, we may find it easier to break free from self-destructive cycles and reduce the likelihood of regression.
Closing with Compassion and Reconnection
The next time you feel tempted to grab a sugary gummy treat or make a familiar mistake, take a moment to step back and reconnect with activities that align with your natural instincts. Consider going for a walk outside, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in community activities. Remember, when you give in to unhealthy rewards that don’t contribute to your well-being, you’re working against an ancient part of your brain that, despite sometimes leading you astray, is ultimately trying to help you survive.
By nurturing this connection between mind and body, and by stimulating your natural reward pathways through healthy means, you can begin to rebuild habits that align with your goals, passions, and purpose. This compassionate reconnection with yourself might just be the ultimate act of self-care—rewiring your brain not just for survival, but for a fulfilling life you genuinely love and take pride in.
Take a Simple Step Forward Today
If you find yourself stuck in cycles of self-sabotage, remember that change is possible.
• Pause and Reflect: Acknowledge the habits that aren’t helping you.
• Get Outside: Spend some time in nature to clear your mind.
• Move Your Body: Engage in any physical activity you enjoy.
• Practice Mindfulness: Even a few minutes of meditation can make a difference.
• Reach Out: Connect with someone you trust or seek professional support.
Remember, each small step can lead to significant change, and you have the power to rewrite your story as many times as you wish.
References
1. National Institutes of Health. (2015). The Biology of Addiction. NIH News in Health. Retrieved from https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2015/10/biology-addiction
2. Volkow, N. D., Koob, G. F., & McLellan, A. T. (2016). Neurobiologic Advances from the Brain Disease Model of Addiction. The New England Journal of Medicine, 374(4), 363–371. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6247953/
3. Nestler, E. J. (2020). Addiction Mechanisms of Relapse. Biological Psychiatry, 87(10), 805–814. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7468707/
4. Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). Epigenetics: How Your Choices Could Change Your Genes. Retrieved from https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/epigenetics
5. Yale Medicine. (2017). How an Addicted Brain Works. Retrieved from https://www.yalemedicine.org/news/how-an-addicted-brain-works
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