By Shannon Bussnick, LSW
Regret and guilt are emotions that can weigh heavily on us, impacting our mental and physical well-being. Whether it’s a fleeting “what if” or a lingering “if only,” these emotions have a way of holding us back from living fully in the present. For some, regret is a passing thought, while for others, it’s a constant companion, leading to emotional turmoil and stress.
Regardless of how regret manifests in your life, the effects are often similar: stress, anxiety, and even physical health issues.
Understanding Regret and Guilt
Regret is defined as “a negative emotion that arises when a person believes their past actions or behaviors, if different, could have led to a better outcome.” This feeling often goes hand in hand with guilt and shame.
While small doses of regret and guilt can be part of everyday life—like missing the bus because you hit snooze too many times—these emotions become problematic when they start to consume your thoughts and prevent you from moving forward.
The Mental and Physical Toll of Regret and Guilt
Lingering regret and guilt can lead to a range of mental health issues, including:
- Increased anxiety levels
- Symptoms of depression
- Difficulty concentrating on daily tasks
- Mood swings
- Behavioral changes (such as isolation, irritability, and obsessive tendencies)
Physical symptoms are also common, stemming from the stress caused by these emotions.
You might experience:
- Headaches
- Chest pain
- Fatigue
- Muscle tension
- Stomach upset
Long-term stress can contribute to serious health conditions like high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and diabetes.
If you notice any of these symptoms, it’s crucial to consult a healthcare professional. In case of a medical emergency, always call 911.
If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of regret and guilt, unable to move past events from your past, it’s time to shift your focus toward healing.
This 3-step guide below will help you reclaim your narrative and let go of these emotions for good—because you deserve to live free from the past.
*Remember to seek support from your healthcare provider or a mental health professional if you’re experiencing any of these symptoms. If you’re in crisis, call 911 immediately.
3 Effective Steps to Let Go of Regret and Guilt
1. Forgive Yourself
Self-forgiveness is often the hardest step, but it’s also the most crucial. Start by reflecting on the events that are causing you pain. Allow yourself to fully experience the emotions—pain, anger, sadness—and then let them go. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the past cannot be changed. Be kind to yourself; you are not the same person you were when those events occurred.
Each day is an opportunity to learn, grow, and become a healthier version of yourself. Embrace this fresh start and remember that making mistakes is a part of being human. Today, choose to forgive yourself.
2. Practice Gratitude
It’s easy to fall into negative thinking patterns, focusing on what you wish you could change. This mindset can make you overlook the positive aspects of your life. Instead, try shifting your focus to the abundance of good things you have right now, even if they’ve been overshadowed by regret. Gratitude can be a powerful tool in releasing negative emotions and bringing more joy into your life.
Start by making a list of things you’re thankful for, no matter how small. You’ll be surprised at how much you have to appreciate when you take the time to look.
3. Live for Today
Now that you’ve forgiven yourself and acknowledged the good in your life, it’s time to focus on the present. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded and better equipped to handle stress. Surround yourself with positive influences—whether it’s friends, family, or a therapist—and engage in self-care activities that nourish your mind and body.
Here are some self-care practices you might find helpful:
- Unplugging from social media to reduce comparison and negativity
- Practicing meditation and/or yoga to center your mind
- Exploring creative outlets like writing, painting, or music
- Engaging in regular exercise to boost your mood and energy
- Spending quality time with loved ones to strengthen your support system
As you start to release regret and guilt, you’ll notice that life becomes easier and your spirit grows stronger. You’ll feel lighter. By reclaiming your narrative and adopting healthier coping strategies, you’ll spend less time dwelling on the past and more time enjoying the present.
Vienna Lane 
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