By Shannon Bussnick, LSW
Life is filled with moments when the masks we wear—those composed, calculated versions of ourselves—begin to crack. Often, prolonged periods of stress catalyze this unveiling.
But what are we really uncovering in these moments?
Are these displays of raw emotion and perhaps, even, impulsive behavior, true reflections of our authentic selves, or are they merely temporary distortions caused by an imbalanced state?
Let’s explore these two philosophical perspectives.
How Stress Influences Personality and Authenticity
Stress activates the body’s fight-or-flight response, releasing a cascade of hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
According to a study published in Nature Reviews Neuroscience, chronic stress can diminish the brain’s prefrontal cortex activity—the area responsible for self-control and decision-making—while amplifying responses from the amygdala, which governs emotional reactions (McEwen, 2017). This neurological shift may explain why we often feel “unfiltered” under stress: our brain prioritizes survival instincts over measured responses.
But is this our true self shining through, or is it a stress-induced state of imbalance?
Let’s break it down.
Can Stress Reveal Your Authentic Self?
In moments of heightened stress, the energy we expend to maintain social masks becomes unavailable. Makes sense, right? This phenomenon can lead to behaviors that reflect core personality traits, quirks, or sensitivities that are typically hidden.
For instance, a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals under stress were more likely to revert to their dominant personality traits, whether those traits were introverted, extroverted, agreeable, or disagreeable (Bolger & Zuckerman, 1995).
This suggests that heightened stress strips away societal expectations and self-imposed filters, exposing who we are at our core. And so, if you find yourself becoming more impatient or overly sensitive during stressful times, it may not be a flaw but rather a glimpse into your natural state of being—the unpolished, primitive version of yourself.
Does Stress Distort Your True Personality?
Alternatively, some argue that stress distorts rather than reveals.
The body’s hormonal responses can cause emotional dysregulation, leading to behaviors that are out of character. Heightened cortisol levels, for example, have been linked to increased irritability, impulsiveness, and even paranoia (Psychoneuroendocrinology, Kudielka et al., 2009).
Dr. Kristen Neff, a leading researcher in self-compassion, notes that stress can trigger a “self-critical voice,” amplifying insecurities and making us less patient and kind—both to ourselves and others. This raises the possibility that what we observe during times of stress is not the “real” us but rather a stressed and imbalanced version of ourselves.
The Middle Ground: A Blend of Both Perspectives?
Perhaps the truth rests somewhere in between. You know that grey area. Stress may magnify certain traits while muting others, creating a version of us that is both authentic and altered. Think of it as a mirror that reflects not only who we are but also the cracks and distortions caused by stress.
A study in Frontiers in Psychology (2020) found that individuals who practiced mindfulness during stressful periods were better able to differentiate between their authentic selves and their stress-driven reactions. This suggests that cultivating self-awareness can help us observe how stress influences our behavior and discern which aspects are genuine.
The Many Masks We Wear
From childhood, societal expectations encourage us to adopt masks to fit in, excel, or compensate for perceived deficits. These masks often develop in response to cultural norms, biases, and pressures.
For individuals with mental health challenges, ADHD, autism, or other neurodivergent traits, these masks can become second nature, serving as a protective mechanism to navigate environments that may not accommodate their differences.
How These ‘Masks’ Are Formed Early
Children quickly learn which behaviors are rewarded and which are stigmatized. For example, a child with ADHD might suppress their natural energy to avoid being labeled “disruptive,” or someone on the autism spectrum might work to mimic neurotypical social cues to avoid standing out, or even appearing “rude.”These compensatory strategies often continue into adulthood, where societal pressures to “fit the mold” remain strong. It becomes challenging, to say the least, to then decipher who we are without the uneasy noise from others.
The Emotional Toll of Masking
Research in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders reveals that masking among autistic individuals can lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression (Hull et al., 2017). Constantly suppressing one’s natural tendencies is exhausting and can erode self-esteem over time. Similarly, individuals with mental health conditions often hide their struggles due to stigma, creating an additional layer of stress and isolation. Ultimately, this contributes to a cycle that serves no one—building barriers between us, facilitating surface-level relationships, and hindering true societal progress.
When Masks Come Off
Heightened stress can sometimes force these masks to slip, revealing traits, sensitivities, and mannerisms that have long been hidden. For neurodivergent individuals, this can feel both liberating and terrifying—a catch-22, really. On one hand, it’s an opportunity to embrace one’s authentic self; on the other, societal judgment can make unmasking a fraught experience; oftentimes, one that is met with confusion, fear, and belittlement.
How to Embrace Your True Self During Stress
Understanding how stress impacts your sense of self can help you respond with greater awareness and resilience.
Here are some practical tips for embracing your true self during times of stress:
1. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or deep breathing, can help you tune into your thoughts and emotions without judgment.
Research from The Journal of Psychosomatic Research highlights that mindfulness reduces the intensity of stress responses, allowing you to respond more authentically and align with your core values (Hölzel et al., 2011).
2. Reflect on Core Values
Identify the values that matter most to you. Are your stress-driven behaviors aligning with these values? Journaling or talking with a trusted friend can help you gain clarity.
3. Build a Support System
Lean on friends, family, or mental health professionals who can provide perspective during tough times. Their feedback can help you distinguish between your true self and stress-induced distortions.
4. Invest in Self-Care
Chronic stress depletes your physical and emotional reserves. Prioritizing sleep, exercise, and proper nutrition can stabilize your mood and give you the bandwidth to navigate stress with your dignity intact.
Conclusion: Embracing the Unmasking Process
Whether stress reveals the “real” you or suggests a temporary imbalance deviating from your personal profile, these moments offer valuable insights into your inner workings. Instead of fearing the cracks in your mask, embrace them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. By cultivating environments and habits that promote worldly genuineness, we can learn to honor both our polished and unpolished selves. After all, the real us isn’t just who we are in moments of perfection but also in moments of pressure—flaws, quirks, and all.
References
- Bolger, N., & Zuckerman, A. (1995). Personality processes and individual differences: A framework for studying personality in the stress process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(5), 890-902.
- Hölzel, B. K., Lazar, S. W., Gard, T., Schuman-Olivier, Z., Vago, D. R., & Ott, U. (2011). How does mindfulness meditation work? Proposing mechanisms of action from a conceptual and neural perspective. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6(6), 537-559. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691611419671
- Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). “Putting on my best normal”: Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47(8), 2519-2534. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3166-5
- Kudielka, B. M., Hellhammer, D. H., & Wüst, S. (2009). Why do we respond so differently? Reviewing determinants of human salivary cortisol responses to challenge. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 34(1), 2-18. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2008.10.004
- Li, H., Peng, M. Y.-P., Yang, M., & Chen, C.-C. (2020). Exploring the influence of learning motivation and socioeconomic status on college students’ learning outcomes using self-determination theory. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, Article 849. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00849
- McEwen, B. S. (2017). Neurobiological and systemic effects of chronic stress. Chronic Stress (Thousand Oaks), 1, 2470547017692328. https://doi.org/10.1177/2470547017692328
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