With Eight Great Arms: Gratitude from an Octopus Mom

By Shannon Bussnick, LSW

As a stay-at-home mom of three, I often feel like I need eight arms to manage everything—and everyone!

Anyone else?

From feeding, changing, playing, cleaning, and teaching, there is never a dull moment in my day. But I love being a mom and have recently found inspiration from one of the most amazing creatures on the planet: the octopus.

Though, I didn’t initially.

What started as a brief vent session with my husband—releasing a desire to, sometimes, be a shark rather than simply an octopus—soon became just another learning lesson at my feet.

Slowly sinking into the endless body of self-defeat, he proceeded to gently remind me of my wee ignorance about sea creature hierarchy.

Octopuses are not creatures to be dismissed, but to be respected and amazed by: They can find their way through mazes, solve problems, identify solutions, and immerse their time and brain power in the puzzles of the sea. They even have distinct personalities.

Yup.

The octopus is not only a master of multitasking, but also a symbol of intelligence, emotional complexity, and adaptability. These are all qualities that I strive to cultivate in myself and my children.

So sure, reserving time to be a shark can certainly fill in some of the crevices needed for independent tasks, essential self-care, and specific goal-directed behaviors, but embodying the octopus is no small feat.

Here, are some of the ways that being a mom is like being an octopus:

• I use my problem-solving skills to find creative solutions for everyday challenges, such as how to keep my twins entertained while I help my daughter with her “homework,” or how to make a healthy meal with whatever is in the fridge.
• I navigate the maze of parenthood with curiosity and courage, exploring new opportunities and learning from my mistakes. I also encourage my children to do the same, and to embrace their unique talents and interests.
• I use tools to make my life easier, such as apps, books, podcasts, and online communities. I also teach my children how to use tools to enhance their learning and creativity, such as crayons, puzzles, musical instruments, and educational games.
• I experience a range of emotions throughout the day, from joy and gratitude to frustration and sadness. I try to express my feelings in healthy ways, and to empathize with my children’s emotions. I also help them develop coping skills and emotional regulation strategies, such as deep breathing, positive affirmations, and mindfulness. I do my best to showcase these coping skills when I, too, experience certain difficult emotions.
• I recognize and show preferences for different people, and I value the relationships that I have with my family, friends, and fellow moms. I also foster a sense of connection and belonging in my children, and teach them how to be kind, respectful, and compassionate to others.
• I adapt to changing circumstances and environments, and I embrace the diversity and beauty of life. I also instill a sense of resilience and resourcefulness in my children, and show them how to overcome obstacles and embrace opportunities.

Being a mom is not easy, but it is also the most rewarding and fulfilling role I’ve been lucky to receive. I am proud to be a mom, and now, I am proud to be an octopus—as silly as that sounds.

In sharing my journey, my hope is to empower fellow mothers to honor their distinct abilities, be they akin to the multifaceted nature of an octopus or the fierce determination of a shark.

Let us recognize and cherish the extraordinary capabilities within ourselves and our little ones. After all, every creature in the ocean has its own remarkable role.

So here’s to celebrating our diverse strengths and navigating the vast waters of parenthood with confidence and pride. (And a whole lot of humility!) Together, we make the sea a more vibrant and wondrous place.

{Vienna Lane}

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References

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/ten-curious-facts-about-octopuses-7625828/

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Further reading

https://kids.nationalgeographic.com/animals/invertebrates/facts/octopus

https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/octopuses-keep-surprising-us-here-are-eight-examples-how.html