Helicopters to Hummingbirds: Inside the Parenting Jungle

By Shannon Bussnick, LSW

In today’s parental scape, where labels fly faster than a hummingbird and judgments sting like a bee, it’s easy to feel like you’re navigating a jungle rather than a playground.

We’ve got helicopter parents hovering with the precision of Maps, tiger moms roaring with incomplete homework threats, and dolphin parents gently gliding through child-rearing with the perfect balance of discipline and fun.

Let’s not forget our hummingbird parents, flickering just close enough to “be present” without smothering, and the free-range folks letting their kids explore the wilds of the neighborhoods with the independence of a cub leaving the den. (The image of a little Simba braving the big outdoors does make my eyes swell up though.)

Oh, and for those who’ve somehow missed the latest edition of parenting bestiary (no shade to my favorite princess, Belle), there are also attachment parents, baby-led aficionados, natural nurturers, and serenity seekers, each with their own manifesto and sometimes, a book deal. Phew. Lately, it’s as if we’re served an endless bowl of A-Z parenting soup, and honestly, I’ve never been much of a liquid lunch girly.

The absurdity of these labels is matched only by the pressure they pile on parents to fit into a neat, marketable box. It’s as if someone decided parenting wasn’t challenging enough and turned it into a competitive sport, complete with commentators. “Ah, yes, Bob, what we’re seeing here is a classic move by a tiger mom, but wait! She’s also displaying traits of the elusive natural parenting style. Truly fascinating.”

The need for blame is unnecessary, as many of us have, perhaps naively, aligned ourselves with what we considered our ‘A team’—choosing paths that resonate with our values and aspirations for our children’s well-being without a second thought. But it’s not about confining ourselves to a single label; yes, I might lean towards gentle parenting techniques, but that doesn’t mean I adhere strictly to them and nothing else. We tailor our parenting to fit the unique needs of each child, acknowledging that what works for one may not work for another. And that’s perfectly fine!

Really, this notion that any of us fits perfectly into one parenting style is as laughable as it is unhelpful. Are we really suggesting that the dad coaching soccer with the precision of a drill sergeant can’t also be leading the troop on homemade playdough?

The truth is, most of us are doing the best we can with the resources we have, borrowing a bit from column A, a smidge from column B, and occasionally throwing the whole playbook out the window in favor of a Netflix binge and pizza night.

These labels, while they might help sell books or generate clicks, do little to foster the community and understanding that parents desperately need. Instead of building bridges, they force walls between us, turning the playground into a battleground of ideologies—and what is, or isn’t, considered an appropriate toddler beverage.

It’s time we ditch the labels and focus on what truly matters: raising happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids who know they’re loved. (And by no means are we condoning artificial sweeteners and dyes but we’re also not looking to shame those who act in moderation, either.)

Our kids are watching and learning from our example. They’re learning that it’s okay to judge others based on superficial labels, that people can’t be multifaceted, and that there’s a ‘right’ way to do just about everything. These aren’t the lessons we want to impart, are they?

So, next time we find ourselves in the wild, let’s resist the urge to slap a label on the parent next to us. Instead, let’s try to offer a smile, a nod, or even a conversation. You never know, we may have more in common than we realize at first glance.

And if not…

We’ll just sit here (or stand there) sipping our near-day-old lattes, perfecting all the candid camera angles, all while basking in the sound of souped-up cars from the neighborhood’s baddest; until, of course, the lovely “Time for dinner!” chatter settles in.

Remember, we’re all in this wild, wonderful world of parenting together – hummingbirds, tigers, and free-rangers alike. Let’s just try our hardest not to be the parent who forgets an extra layer for our goosebump-inflicted child who’s been glued to the squeaky swing for the last hour. Been there!

Vienna Lane

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While we aim to inspire and provoke thought on Vienna Lane, some stories are crafted with a touch of humor and exaggeration for reflection and enjoyment. Please enjoy these moments with the understanding that not all is to be taken literally. Thank you for joining us on this journey, embracing the light-hearted side of life alongside the profound.

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